Fudge

Agh... another lame post but that's what this blog is all about.

I can honestly say I was on the tip of a NBD (nervous breakdown for you kids who are not down with the lingo) last week..I couldn't get my head into doing anything and spent the last couple of weeks just watching Olympics and playing mob f****** wars on Facebook. So olympics finished and I decided to go cold turkey on mob wars... my life felt completely empty, even more than usual. Honestly, I haven't felt that bad in a very long time... well maybe 3 years agh.
And ofcourse what's the reason for this? Mainly my own mentality and negative views on life but spiced up with good old Iranian Embassy in NZ. I have been trying to get some important thing done since March and they have been stalling and now I am in a very very tough situation. I am hopeful (ha!) that it will be resolved within a couple of weeks otherwise I am really screwed.... sigh

Fortunately, I took a trip we planned ages ago with my friends. It was refreshing to be around people and visit a nice place but now am back and going to get in touch with the embassy tomorrow.. let's see if I'll go mental or my NBD will be in a few years time.

Hmm and the worse feeling? its Ramadhan tomorrow and I don't feel ready or prepared.... Ramadhan kareem anyway!

apathy?

I have been away from the blog "scene" for a while now, I have over 200 unread items on google reader and haven't even read my favorite blogs. I must be very busy you say, the upcoming month pretty much determines whether I get honors or not but not to this extent.

I have just been extremely apathetic towards uni work and many others things. It mostly has to do with me catching up with "C" again. Her story is a very long one but lets just say I used to have feelings for her. We haven't spoken in about 1.5 years and just recently I ran into her in uni and we caught up, I think that was a big mistake.
I don't like to talk about the details but I think I need to cut her off my life once and for all, she usually does good by disappearing for months without a single message but I think I need to make it clear I never want to hear from her again. My weakness in confronting people doesn't help but wish me luck.

OR the whole thing might be due to what I term "mid-life crises" since I just turned 24.. hahaha

I am soo old

I just got back from one of my classmate's 21st party and... agh I feel so old. Turning 24 soon while most of my classmates are turning 21 (except the ones who failed or are international who are 22) makes me feel horrible.

I have always been acting more mature compared to my classmates even when they were my age (i.e. in high school), I would call them "son" and "uncle Ali can help you", one of my nicknames was uncle Ali even.

But but... I don't like it....this is not the way I wanted it to be. I'll be graduating while hitting on 25, by the time I establish a career how old will I be? What about postgrad study? Traveling the world? And family? What about my successors!! aaaghhhh
On top of it all, I never wanted to stick around for too long ....